Well, that didn’t last long. Early this year, The Guardian newspaper in the UK announced that Alanis Morissette was going to write an advice column for its weekend magazine. She took over from Molly Ringwald and said her mix of “intuition and empathy” would serve her in the role. Well, she just quit. Alanis and her rapper husband just welcomed their second child and she says she wants to focus on being a Mom.
Secretly, I’ve always wanted to write an advice column. I’d take a no-nonsense approach to peoples’ problems and give them gentle slaps upside the head to bring them back to reality. Long ago, with my then-cohost on CKNX-AM, the late Don Fraser, I entered a contest to replace Ann Landers or Dear Abby or one of those legendary advice-givers who had announced plans to retire. We thought the approach of a male/female team would set us apart enough to get a shot at the gig but we were foolishly overlooked.
Morissette followed a long list of celebrities who have given advice to the lovelorn and confused. Ozzy Osbourne wrote one – or had someone write it for him – for Rolling Stone magazine. I bought a collection of his answers in book form from the Chapters super-discounted bin. It was pretty funny but rarely, truly helpful.
Make no mistake. I don’t think I’m a shining example of living to perfection and therefore have the right to tell others what to do. But just like in the newswriting class I teach at Fanshawe College or when younger broadcasters come to me for guidance, I see the role as being as much to do with building confidence as offering guidance. No one – except perhaps Kanye West and Kim Kardashian – has heard “you can do it” and “you’re worthy of it” enough times in their lives. Given the chance, I bet I can find thousands of different ways to say that. Whether it’s shutting down an in-law who picks at their self-esteem or cutting loose a bad boyfriend, it’s also a matter of giving them the boost they need to get up and go for it for another day. And I think a Dear Lisa column could make that happen! Come on, Guardian, I haven’t had a hit record or starred in a coming-of-age movie classic, but maybe it’s time you gave someone like me a shot!