Okay, I don’t really know a Pete who is stinky. The only Pete I know smells great.
The other day a friend was complaining about her smelly coworker. He shuffles around in a Pig Pen fashion, oblivious to the fact that he emits a stench of BO and that unmistakable unwashed scent. One assumes he drops his clothing on the floor for the night and then pulls on the same stuff the following morning, underwear and all. He also smokes heavily and apparently eats cloves of garlic for every meal. People are complaining and she’s trying to find a tactful way to explain to him that he’s difficult to be around.
As a manager, many years ago I had to have this discussion with a subordinate. It was delicate and difficult but it immediately had the desired effect. He realized that soap and water wasn’t the best deodorant in 30 degree weather and remedied the situation right away. In fact, from then on he smelled terrific.
Last week I was invited to audition for a voice job in which I’d play a teacher telling a student he smelled bad. The teacher is so uncomfortable with the topic that she adopts a fake British accent and just keeps going, ridiculously. It was a funny script but it certainly adds to the perception I’m getting that this is a big problem.
Not liking how someone dresses or the way they style their hair is off limits. But telling someone in a caring way that they’re literally turning people off being around them, well, it has to be done. It’s the kind thing to do, just like letting someone know their fly is open. We have to have these discussions with each other, even though it embarrasses us. It’s as simple as putting yourself in their place and knowing how you’d want to be treated. If I’m shooting dragon-breath at everyone, I’d like a heads-up please. I don’t want to be anything less than minty-fresh.
I had a coworker once during one of my pregnancies (when scent is even more of an issue!) who chose not to bathe for likely weeks at a time. Nobody would tell her but my boss located me to a different shared office because she felt so bad for me. I wish someone would’ve just told her….but you could be sure it wasn’t going to be me!
What I don’t get is how can the smelly person not know? I can see it once in awhile but not day after day. Good grief!
My only assumption is that it becomes their new normal. It’s like someone who can’t smell the cat box in their own house. That’s just a guess. It kind of baffles me too!