If you know a cat, chances are you’ve experienced this: the cat has to come into the bathroom with you. Or the cat is right outside your closed door. Maybe it lays on the magazine you’re reading. Those are all typical cat things.
But it’s not something they do just for kicks. A cat behaviorist says there’s a reason why your feline is behaving this way. They have FOMO – Fear Of Missing Out.
Jane Erlich says cats don’t understand that a closed door is only temporary. They get anxious when you lock yourself away – hello, bathroom! – because in their mind, this is the new normal. A future without my human? UNBEARABLE!
Cat Anxiety is Real
Some cats go into deep distress when there’s a change in the household. They might hiss and flatten their ears as if preparing to fight.
“It doesn’t make them mean. It doesn’t make them anything other than a species that is both predator and prey that has to hunt to survive but also has to feel safe and secure in their environment.”
Ingrid Johnson in Live Science
There’s a way to help our feline friends cope better. For example, the experts say that if you don’t want your cat in a certain area of the house, make that a consistent rule, not just when you have company. That way, it becomes part of the general routine and won’t freak them out like it can when it only happens occasionally.
Cuddles is anxious at the best of times. He doesn’t act out when he’s upset, except for some persistent vocalizing. He strikes me as the kind of guy who, if he were human, would mask his emotions and have a ‘nervous stomach’.
The Run of the House
There’s nowhere Cuddles isn’t allowed unless we have an overnight guest that doesn’t want him to visit. His safe spot is under the basement stairs, where his litterbox is. He runs there when we have people over or the FedEx guy rings the doorbell.
He also doesn’t like to come into the bathroom with one of us but he will wait outside the door. I don’t think I’m imagining a look of relief when I emerge and say his name. “You remember me? Thank goodness! I thought you were gone forever!”
This is another fave spot to wait when we are both working. The staircase to the main floor is just to the right. He can keep track of who’s upstairs and who’s downstairs and who’s closest to the can opener.
Studies have shown that cats prefer attention from their humans over food and toys. Closing them out, even briefly, deprives them of their favourite thing – you! In order to feel secure, Erlich says we should know that cats hate the three terrible Cs.
“They hate not having choice, they hate not being in control, and they hate change. While cats don’t necessarily want to be involved in whatever is happening behind the door, they do want to know what’s going on.”
Far from their stand-offish reputation, cats just want to be part of your life. My goodness, when Cuddles makes the rare move to settle on my lap I feel like I’ve been touched by an angel. We all know the saying, and I can assure you it’s true – dogs have owners, but cats have staff!