Paperback Writer (Apologies to the Beatles)

Twelve years ago, I published a memoir about the summer I spent working a live-in job at a nudist resort.

We also called it a nudist camp. Now, such a place is where people practice ‘naturism’: the human body is celebrated in its natural form, in a non-sexual way. That’s the official definition. But as a teenager at Four Seasons in Freelton, ON, I found a different story.

Partly because I was young and not worldly, and partly because I had total access, I experienced things outside the context of “the lifestyle.” It didn’t take me long to get used to ignoring everyone’s bathing suit areas without bathing suits. I was a serious kid when it came to the job and because of a glitch in my high school records, I felt like I was held back a year from launching “the rest of my life.” So, I dug in and made the best of this weird situation.

How the Book Began

After a discussion with someone about summer jobs – and their jaw hitting the floor – I realized I should probably write about this experience before I forgot the details. I had already forgotten a couple of people’s names. I was always a little uncomfortable about relaying some of the incidents that happened. They were so outlandish that if someone told them to me, I might not believe them. But they were 100% true.

So, my first draft was an entirely fiction story wrapped around these incidents. I thought it would make the crazy stuff easier to digest. I created a romance and adventure that never occurred that summer. Thanks to a friend, I was fortunate to have the editor of what was then a major publisher (Key Porter) read the manuscript. He thought it was fun and well written but not the kind of thing they would publish. With fresh confidence about my abilities, I removed the fiction and stuck with the real story. And then I published it as an eBook.

Luckily, I got a fair bit of media coverage when the book was published, including in the Hamilton Spectator where Four Seasons is still a legendary topic. Every once in a while, I’ll hear from someone who would prefer a real book to an eBook. But in 2012, print-on-demand didn’t exist at Amazon. And by the time it did (2016) I was on to other things.

Harder Than It Looks

I received an email recently from someone who wanted The Naked Truth in paperback and it got me wondering how difficult it would be to do it now.

First, I no longer had the original manuscript so I had to get it from Amazon. They only had the .azw file (Kindle format) and that’s not useful for print. I tried to reformat and reconfigure it myself but a person needs software more robust than Microsoft Word. So, then I started taking quotes.

The first one was $1000. I don’t know how much you know about self-publishing but I won’t live long enough to see a return on that investment! However, I don’t quibble with professionals because I know how it feels. My price is my price and people who belittle me (but it will only take you an hour!) or play hardball (I can get someone else for half that!) bruise the soul. All freelancers go through this all the time. I refuse to do it to someone else. But like Goldilocks and the Three Bears, the third quote was just right.

Book ’em Danno

And so, here we are with a paperback version of The Naked Truth now on sale. I’m not about to ask you to buy one if you have no interest in the story. But if it does interest you, check it out HERE. The cover, like most of my books, was created by my late brother-in-law, Dave. He was insanely talented and relentlessly optimistic. He would cut his regular fee in half and take “points” on book sales instead. At the end of the year, I’d write him the tiniest cheques you’ve ever seen. But he always thought this one would become a best-seller.

About a decade ago, I was approached by a TV producer who had just come off a successful sitcom and was looking for a new project. He read it and decided it wasn’t for him, which is a shame. I think that with strategic camera angles and me on the writing staff, it would make a funny TV show. But you can’t win them all. (Brent Butt – call me?!?)

Thanks to everyone who has already read The Naked Truth. It has almost 100 reviews. If you decide to read it, I hope you’ll leave an honest review as well.