Random Thoughts From A Pandemic

Does everybody’s weekly budget look like this?
Gas: $0. Movies & dinners out: $0. Groceries: $62,176.23.

We should thank the state of Georgia for reopening so far ahead of everyone else. Georgia is the petri dish into which we can all peer to see what happens when a virus is allowed to run amok. Thanks, Georgia!

When I follow the US President’s advice, should I use the Tide Pod as a suppository? I know I’m not supposed to eat it.

Joe Rogan is dead to me. He said he’d rather vote for Trump than Biden. Republicans held their noses and got behind Trump. Democrats can’t do it for Biden because it’s not how they feel. But what’s more important? Holding your nose or four more years of this?

Whenever things open back up, it might be more pleasant to be around other people. Restaurant tables will be placed farther apart. We’ll get more personal space on airplanes. And imagine lining up for groceries without Pushy Pusherson jamming her cart into your heel.

I will not cut my own hair. Nor will I allow my husband near me with scissors. The man bun is a thing – is the woman bun a thing?

Hey Flat-Earthers, why aren’t there any photos of the edge of the earth? Surely, a bunch of you can pack yourselves in a windowless van and go on a road trip to find it? Just be careful. You don’t want to risk falling off.

Lame-duck Conservative leader Andrew Scheer is adamant about MPs meeting in person because he is a young dinosaur. The 40-year-old doesn’t want to admit he doesn’t know how to join an online video meeting.

People need a villain. Good versus evil. For some, it’s Justin Trudeau. For others, it’s Donald Trump. Hate the politics, not the person. Your karma will be better for it.

Hey herd immunity proponents – how does this work when people are getting COVID-19 for a second time? Shouldn’t they be immune.

For my religious friends: “Trust in God, but tie your up camel.” ~The Prophet Muhammad