Real Housewives of Wallaceburg | Voice of Lisa Brandt

I’m kidding. There’s no such show, as far as I know. But I’m gloriously oblivious to the many spin-offs of the Housewives franchise. Same with Bachelors, Bachelorettes, Married at First Sights, etc. But it’s been fascinating to peek into their worlds for a while.

Cover of Cohen's book is bright blue with white and red lettering and a caricature of the author. — Even Cohen knows that what he does is fun fluff!

I’ve been reading the dishy, trashy five-year-old diary of Andy Cohen: The Andy Cohen Diaries – A Deep Look at a Shallow Year. Don’t know him? He’s the host of Bravo’s Watch What Happens Live, good friends with Anderson Cooper with whom he co-hosted CNN’s New Year’s Eve show, and producer of the RH (Real Housewives) franchise, among many others. (He’s currently showing off his newborn son in every outlet that will have them!) He’s insanely wealthy, has met, gotten drunk with or interviewed everybody you’ve ever heard of and told all in this light-as-a-feather book. It’s a “year in the life” and what a life it is.

Cohen has famous friends and they’re as nice as you hope they’d be. Kelly Ripa. Sarah Jessica Parker. Anderson. Barbara Walters isn’t so nice, in fact, not at all. But holy Hannah those housewives are a trip. They act like they own the world and want everyone to bend to their wishes. They’re rich women, or women who married rich, and make phone calls (or have a minion do it) to demand such important things as a certain room temperature setting before a meeting. They keep meticulous track of what perks they get to make sure no one is being treated better than they are by as much as a coffee creamer. In short, they’re disgusting.

I often muse with my family and friends about how this world developed to have its priorities backwards. Instead of valuing people by who’s decent and honest, who tries to make the world better, everything is based on greed. Don’t misunderstand, there’s nothing wrong with money and nice stuff, but it shouldn’t determine a person’s worth. (Only their net worth.)

Even something as common as compound interest on a mortgage has always had me baffled. Who allowed this? Banks that had money and people who wanted it. I’ve always thought it was unfair that a mortgage was front-loaded with interest and somewhat impossible to pay off. Now that Derek and I have a banking product that doesn’t calculate a mortgage this way (Manulife One from Manulife Bank*) I wonder, why doesn’t everyone? You won’t find mortgages – in the way North Americans acquire them – in much of Europe. You have to wonder what they know that we don’t, as North Americans check our annual statements and realize that all of those payments only knocked a few bucks off the principal. It’s crazy.

But I digress.

Back to the housewives of New York, Los Angeles, Atlanta etc. Cohen produces the shows and tries to maintain civility between the warring women of over sized closets and surgery-tightened necks. I’ve never watched one and I never will. Not that I’m judging you if you do. These shows have won reality TV awards and they’re immensely popular. But sitting on my butt to watch someone else enjoy – and not even be grateful for – a privileged life seems like a massive waste of my own.

*Not a paid endorsement. We happen to really like it!