Parkinson’s has robbed my Dad of many things. He shuffles when he walks and sometimes loses his balance so he has to be watched carefully when he moves. His arms don’t always do what he tells them. He looks smaller than he used to. He’s fragile.
He may take longer to get to the chair and sink a little lower once he’s in it but a person’s physical appearance isn’t necessarily the whole story. Stephen Hawking is locked in a body atrophied by ALS but he’s one of the most intelligent people on the planet. Appearances are deceiving.
It happened again on Saturday. We took Dad out for lunch and the server asked me what he wanted to order instead of asking him. It went something like, “What would he like?” And I answered, “Why don’t you ask him?” She didn’t even realize how rude it was, but I think I gently let her know with my response. This isn’t an unusual occurrence. It happens every time we’re out with him. People see his limited motor skills and assume his brain is limited as well. If only they could hear the stories he tells and the witty cracks he makes.
People will stare when it takes 15 minutes to get in and seated in a restaurant. You have to expect that. Dad is always concerned about getting in anyone’s way, and he’s so busy concentrating on his steps that he doesn’t seem to notice the other patrons gawking. But I do. I become fiercely protective of him. If anyone stares too long, I stare at them until they notice me and look away, embarrassed. And if anyone was to ever act overtly impatient because he wasn’t moving quickly enough, they would regret it. He has earned the right to take a little more time. People make choices in life and they don’t always end up where they want to be. But my father did nothing to deserve this terrible disease and I’ll be damned if anyone is going to make him feel worse about. If he could, he’d wish away Parkinson’s and get his quick step back again. So please, when you see someone who’s obviously suffering from something physical, don’t assume it’s affecting their brain as well. Parkinson’s has robbed him of his mobility. Don’t take away his dignity, too.
Very well said Lisa!
Lisa, you are a wonderful daughter. Your father is blessed to have you caring for him. I hope you have a great Christmas with him and the rest of your family. ? ❤️
Lisa, your words of how other people react and respond to your father in his frail condition hits very close to home. Living with a disability can be challenging but with a supportive family you can cope. Never let society rob your father of his dignity, self-worth and pride in his accomplishments. For they will try there damndest to do so! Disability doesn’t equal deaf dumb and blind.
Well said Lisa, Your dad is a great man i admire him very much.