Sports Snorts

Reporting on sports is my least favourite part of my job as a newscaster. This is not new. I don’t generally watch sports, with limited exceptions. And I’ve never been such a fan that my happiness – even in the short term – depends on a bunch of people I don’t know scoring more points than a bunch of other people. No offence to rabid fans, it’s just not how I’m wired. Sometimes I’m a band-wagon jumper, but I generally just don’t really care. 

Sports is the only aspect of a newscast where people already know what you’re going to say. They just want to hear you say it. If you’re a fan of the Blue Jays, for example, you’ll watch the game. The chance of me actually revealing a final score to you is pretty small. If you’re a real fan, you’re not going to wait until you listen to the radio the following morning to find out whether or not they won. You’ll ask someone, or go online or check an app, because you care.

This supports my theory.

Sports fans listen to sportscasts, not to get informed, but to hear their team’s name. The only complaints about sports I ever get – and they’re few, thank goodness – are because I’ve forgotten to check whether a certain team – a fringe or small local team – played.

I’ve been told by Program Directors of my past, to just “check the CP sports wire and use that”. CP is Canadian Press. They do put out capsules of what happened in major sports but if I only used what they gave me, I’d be answering calls all morning. They don’t often cover the Detroit Tigers or the New York Yankees, both of whom are big deals here. They also don’t report on the National Basketball League, and the London Lightning made it all the way to the finals this year before losing to Halifax. And then there’s the Intercounty Baseball League and the red-hot London Majors. And don’t forget our Memorial Cup winning London Knights.

And then there are the names. Holy canoli – isn’t anybody who plays sports called Smith? From Tomáš Berdych to Ezequiel Astacio to Tim Cheveldae – you’ll want to give them a trial run over your teeth off the air before you take them to a microphone.

News is information. Sports is .. what then? Validation? I’m not quite sure what’s accomplished by spending 90 seconds every half hour telling people what they already know. But I do my best to make it complete and accurate and if it’s not, I know I’ll hear about it from a fan!