Open Letter to Our Neighbours

Hello fine folk, even you, nutty Mason Jar Lady across the road, whose collection of odd front lawn decor grows every year. We have a full crop of dandelions and this year, we’re keeping them. 

Sorry Hugh, and your perfectly green blanket of a lawn. I see you out there with a butter knife, digging out the occasional yellow weed and I know you loathe them. But you stay within in the law and never spray. You pick. You have that kind of time.

And you on the other side of the street with your golf green turf. I know you spray something on it because I’ve seen you. I doubt it’s the legal stuff because you’d have brown patches to show for it. Consider this fair notice that little seeds will be carried over the pavement by the wind when our dandelions decide it’s time to spawn. 

Over the years I’ve tried digging them out. I tried target spraying. I tried several things and it’s time to finally admit defeat. The dandelions win. They’re good for the bees and if you forget that we’ve spent decades trying (unsuccessfully) to kill them, they’re actually kind of pretty. People use them to make wine, honey, and all sorts of other consumables that I will never attempt. We’ll just cut off their heads once a week or so and watch them regenerate, and come back even stronger. The battle is lost. Sorry neighbours, but we’re setting the stage for you to lose a future battle, too.