401K – The K is for Karma

I had a lovely weekend away chez BFF Erin and BFFH Rob in their home on the lake. It just feels right to wake up and look out over the water first thing. Maybe it’s some sort of lizard-brain memory of crawling out of it millions of years ago.

My friends are the most generous hosts you can imagine. It’s a rare place where I can power down and forget about the usual chores and other things that tend to occupy a weekend at home. It’s glorious.

To get there requires a 3+ hour drive so on Friday afternoon, I hit the 401. This time, it tried to hit back.

I was near Woodstock in the centre lane about to consider pulling left to pass a slower vehicle when my shoulder check revealed a little blue POS (Piece of Shit) cart coming up that lane doing 150 km/hr, likely more. So, I changed my mind about the lane change and as he approached, he edged left into the sand and salt of the shoulder next to the concrete barrier, and maintained his speed.

His actions kicked up a cloud of dust that left us in a blinding whiteout. Some drivers hit their brakes while others like me, just plowed through knowing a sudden hard brake on the 401 is kind of stupid unless it’s vital, and that the cloud would disperse quickly. The chaos wasn’t pleasant, surrounded by tractor-trailers and so on.

I could taste dust. I voice dialled 911 and gave the dispatcher the limited information I had. I could see the POS a good kilometre ahead, still plowing through the silt and crap and leaving a Pig-Pen plume behind him. I didn’t think anything would come of my call but it’s my duty to try to stop him, right?

A few minutes later an OPP SUV screamed past, lights and sirens going, and I thought…could it be? Nah.

By the time I reached Kitchener the eastbound 401 was a sea of brake lights but the delay seemed brief. Finally I saw the issue. On the left shoulder were five OPP vehicles including the SUV that had passsed me earlier. They had boxed in the blue POS and had its  driver in the classic cuffed position on his own trunk. Sweet! One of the cruisers was actually facing traffic. I only wish I had seen the drama unfold.

I assume others also called about this guy. Maybe he was impaired or the car was stolen. But the satisfaction of seeing him stopped was delicious. He could have killed someone. He was easily going fast enough for police to put the over-50-over-the-limit rule in play, impound the car and pull his license for 7 days, if he even had a license. And for a wonderful minute, I felt like a cop, if cops had spotters like the drivers do in NASCAR!