WKRP in London

The famous “turkey drop” episode of WKRP in Cincinnati is part of the consciousness of broadcasters. “As God as my witness, I thought turkeys could fly!”  Those words have left the lips of most announcers, either to mock a situation or just to remember a classic TV moment that captured the humiliation that can result from an attempt at something great in radio. 

The last time I truly felt that an extreme and sudden blush of crimson over a faux pas on behalf of my radio station was in the late 1980s when I was coerced into appearing at a shopping mall dressed as Gumby. But as of last week, I have a more recent experience. The Big Show spoke those words from WKRP outside of a funeral home.  Allow me to explain.

When a company invites us to come by on the Big Show Tailgate Tour, we pull up in two heavily logo’d Free-FM vehicles. We step out wearing our matching, bright green, Free-FM football jerseys, hauling two ballot boxes and two large cut-outs. One is a football player, the other, a sexy referee. They’re missing their heads so our friends at the company can pose behind them for photos. It’s especially funny when a man poses as the female ref and a woman becomes the player. Derek and Blair both have microphones plugged into their iPhones to gather audio for the next day’s show, our promotions person and I hand out reminder cards for a special contest we play just for the workers, everyone fills out ballots for contests and it’s a whole lot of chaos and fun, followed by a free pizza and pop lunch from Pizza Hut.

We get hundreds of requests for our Tailgates and we absolutely love meeting the people who listen to our radio station.

Last week, our list of daily visits included a funeral home/cemetery.  Off we went in our little green parade. As we pulled up to the place we noticed the parking lot was overflowing. It seemed like there might be a funeral in progress. Didn’t they know their own schedule? Why would they invite us on the day of a funeral?

It was too late. We pulled up in front of the building and got out, but decided we had better send our promo person inside to see what was going on before we lugged everything in. Just as we convened at the back of the truck a woman ran out of the building in tears. Her husband followed, consoling her. Oh it was a funeral alright. And there we were, in plain view, the wacky fun crew from the radio station in matching shirts and louder than loud vehicles.

As Jess took what seemed like an eternity to sort things out inside, sad people dressed in black started to trickle past us, some weeping.  It was a pretty awful scene. Blair got a case of nervous giggles at the absurdity of it and he laughed silently but violently as tears trickled down his face from behind dark glasses.  Truth was, we didn’t find it funny in the moment.  Jess came back outside quite freaked out.  Not only was it a funeral, her mother was inside because the deceased was one of her coworkers.  And when Jess asked for our contact, he was taken away from consoling the grieving family!  He was not impressed.

So picture us, in our greenery, trying to make ourselves invisible as we slunk into our vehicles and pulled over to less obvious spots.  Then it hit us – oh no!  Pizza is coming! We can’t let the pizza guy pull up and make things even worse!  Calls were made and situations explained. It turned out that we were supposed to be there alright – one week later!  Humiliating?  Yes, beyond belief. We felt terrible for being a bit of a spectacle at such a sombre occasion. The pizza  had gone to the proper business and when we arrived there 20 minutes later (and 45 minutes late!) we were warmly welcomed and had a lovely time. We didn’t breathe a word about the debacle we had just been through!

A mistake was made, not by us, and sincere apologies were offered and accepted. Things happen. Back at the radio station they think it’s the funniest thing ever because there could not have been a worse possible location to go to on the wrong day! We visit insurance companies, government offices, printing shops, car dealers, factories etc. but the day it gets mixed up, we land in the middle of a funeral.

The good news is they still want us to come back on the agreed-upon day, and they’re looking forward to it.  We’ll be telling this story for the rest of our careers. We thought turkeys could fly.