My Twitter followers are familiar with the exploits of a neighbour I call The Mason Jar Lady.
She is so named because she once put out on her front lawn a table of Mason jars for sale with a sign that proclaimed “with lids!”. It struck us as pretty funny. I guess there was some sort of a jar shortage, or a perceived one, but I don’t think she made a single sale.
Her front yard has grown every year into a strange and eclectic collection of odds and ends that in the winter includes a plastic, tall Santa that stays out for a couple of months. After we had a change of neighbours next door to her and the new people disrespected her side of the shared driveway, she laid a crudely painted sign on her lawn that read, PRIVATE DRIVEWAY! It didn’t help and half the time it was almost laying flat anyway. She’s not a bad person or anything. She’s retired and although she seems to always miss my friendly waves, she will occasionally shout across the road that ,”YOUR FLOWERS LOOK NICE!” or another encouraging phrase. But her lawn is an eyesore. Her front window is too, actually. And it’s getting worse every year.
When I lived in Hamilton near Gage Park, we had a neighbour one street over who took tacky to a whole new level. This person had every kind of cartoon character, gnome, animal, lantern and metal lawn ornament ever made, all crowded together on a yard the size of a small bedroom. She sat on her porch all day, every day, throughout the warm weather months, seeming to enjoy the attention from passersby. Mason Jar lady isn’t one street over. She’s directly across the street. And this week she added a new animal to her collection. A resting deer.
It’s understood that this is her lawn to do with what she wishes but I’m wondering how long it will be before the other woodland creatures are put out to join Bambi. There’s already a bunny and a whole pack of urns and other vessels haphazardly placed among an attempt at a rock garden. I’m only showing you a fraction of it. The only thing that makes it even noteworthy to me, or worth commenting on at all, is that it composes half the view from our bay window. Today it’s a deer. Next week it might be a possum or a bear. Stay tuned!
The former neighbor of a dear friend was a scrounger and couldn’t pass by any orphaned lawn decoration without bringing it home for her tiny yard. She also added plastic & silk flowers, gnomes, animals, and holiday decor. It was interesting, but not lovely to anyone but herself.
On our bike ride on Monday we rode past a house that had it down to an art form too. It made me realize that the Mason Jar Lady is a rank amateur by comparison!