The Groundhog Cometh

I can’t stand Groundhog Day.  There! I’ve said it!  And I don’t mean the movie, I mean the ritual of watching a flea-bitten varmint crawl out of a hole every February 2nd. 

I’m told that kids love the annual spectacle and for a town like Wiarton whose tourism is built around it, it’s important. But The Weather Network crunched the numbers on Wiarton Willie and Nova Scotia’s Schubenacadie Sam and the rodents’ accuracy rate is less than 40%. Punxsutawny Phil in Pennsylvania at least does better at just shy of 60%.

People often get this backwards but here’s how it’s supposed to work: If the groundhog sees its shadow, there will be six more weeks of winter.  If he doesn’t see his shadow, spring will come early.  If he doesn’t come out of the burrow at all that means he’s dead and they didn’t think to bring in a back-up groundhog, as actually happened several years ago in Wiarton. I remember it well because we carried it live on 680 News and the horror was palpable.  Good times, good times.

Historians say the whole groundhog-predicting-weather thing dates back as far as 1841. If kids really do get a kick out of it and think it’s important, well, I will hold my tongue and let them have their fun. But a person should be able to opt out after, say, 30 years of broadcasting where every February 2nd really does end up like the movie Groundhog Day.  You’re just living the same thing over and over and over. At least when it comes to Santa Claus you get presents and the Easter Bunny leaves treats. What does the groundhog leave behind except a poor track record and a pile of little turds???