These Rules are Rich

The old saying used to be, cocaine is God’s way of telling you that you make too much money.  I think it’s time for an update on that.  Now the way you can tell is if you are a complete douchebag when you get your own private plane.  

The CEO of too-cool-for-its-own-good clothing chain Abercrombie and Fitch has a plane and a set of rules for his minions who fly it.  Check out what 68-year-old Michael Jeffires requires on his private Gulfstream jet.  There are 47 pages of rules but these are the most specific and silly.

Washcloths in the bathrooms need to be tri-folded, but the end square of the toilet paper should NOT be folded. In fact, the toilet paper shouldn’t even be visible.

The newest issues of 13 different specific magazines must be available on board with all their insert cards removed.  (I would enjoy that actually!)When the crew vacuums the plane, they need to go from the front of the plane to the back, pulling the vacuum toward them to make smooth, even lines.

When the plane reaches cruising altitude, the crew needs to check the restroom to make sure the bar of soap by the sink didn’t slide out of place during takeoff.

When Michael or his boyfriend have a request, the cabin crew needs to answer by saying, No problem – not “sure” or “just a minute”.

And my favourite of all, male members of the cabin crew must be clean-shaven and spritz their uniforms with Abercrombie and Fitch cologne. And their in-flight “uniform” includes flip flops, a polo shirt, gloves and boxer briefs.  No word on whether those briefs have to be worn under something or on their own.  But judging by the rest of the list I’m going to guess they’re worn alone!