Not a Fan

Yesterday I tweeted a question: does anyone know of a completely silent fan?  Not a radio fan, an actual fan.  My newsbooth is controlled by colleagues in another room who like it warm.  I like it cool. I would prefer the thermostat set to “meat locker” but I realize that’s not fair to everyone else.  The only suggestion I received was to spend $300 on a Dyson. Never again. Dyson once sucked me in.  He’s the inventor of the Dyson vacuum, you know, the one he says “doesn’t lose suction”.  Bullspit!   

I’ve had my Dyson for about 5 years and it has always, always lost suction. I keep it clean, I wash the filter, I pull out the hair that gets wound around the bristles.  It just doesn’t live up to the hype.  It also doesn’t get the edges the way they claim it does.  This thing wasn’t cheap.  It’s supposed to be the last vacuum I’ll never need.  Well, I’m going to eventually run out of patience with it and need another one.  And it won’t be a Dyson.

One of Mr. Dyson’s inventions that truly impressed me was the Airblade hand dryer.  We used it at King’s Cross train station in London, England and it’s been installed in casinos and other places in Ontario as well.  For only about $6,000. we could have one of our own, so, you know, we won’t.  That’s crazy.  But it dries the hands in about 12 seconds and dries them thoroughly.  No shaking necessary.  It’s a wonderful thing.  But it’s out of my snack bracket.

So Mr. Dyson you will probably lure in others with your confident manner and your CEO/inventor credibility but your flotsam sucker isn’t doing the job for me and I won’t be throwing three bills at your silent fan.  I’ll find another way to cope and on top of that, I’ll be going back to a good old Hoover or Eureka one of these days and kissing your rotating ball goodbye.