Review: Fifty Shades of Grey

You’ve likely heard about the phenomenon that is the Grey trilogy, beginning with the first book, Fifty Shades of Grey.   Millions of copies have been snapped up by mainly women readers and it shows no signs of slowing down. 

Any public criticism of the book can easily be misconstrued as a slam against the women who have read and enjoyed it so let me be clear: I do not sit in judgment.  I also believe my reaction to it isn’t simply a matter of being drawn into something so over-hyped that it can’t possibly live up to the madness surrounding it.  I took it for what it was worth; a novel about a man and a woman and their relationship.

I didn’t like this book.  I didn’t even finish it but I think that getting two-thirds of the way through it is enough to warrant an informed commentary.  Not only is it poorly written, its main characters are like something Disney would create if not for all of the sex.  They’re polar opposites, cartoon characters, not humans. She is about to graduate university, never having had a boyfriend and he is a self-made billionaire who not only has exceptional looks and brains but decides in mere seconds that he is captivated by her.  Why?  There is no reason for it.   At least, none is given.  We’re just supposed to accept it.  None of it makes much sense.

Neither one of them is very likable.  He has twisted views about sex and romance based on a very unconventional upbringing complete with a very messed up first romantic relationship.  She is just sort of there, like a blank canvas who isn’t very interesting.  She doesn’t manage to stick to her supposedly firm convictions and you sort of want to give her a cuff upside the head.

I have spoken to many readers of this book and they all say the same thing: Just wait until you get to book three and it all comes around to make sense.  Well, that sounds like clever marketing, not good writing.  I don’t have an interest in a show that you have to watch 3 or 4 episodes of before it becomes enjoyable, either.  I don’t want these people in my life and I put the book down for that reason. And the sex?  PLEASE!  Without getting too graphic, let’s just say that no virgin in the history of the world has ever had an experience like Christian Grey gave this one.  It’s not possible.  It doesn’t happen, especially considering her absolute and wholehearted unfamiliarity with it.

Mountains of the paperback were being restocked when I was in Costco the other day and at least 4 women in my sight line plopped one into their cart.  It’s a tremendous success and I won’t pass judgment on anyone who climbs on board that train and sticks with it.  Personally, I couldn’t wait to get off at the first stop.