What I Learned on the Weekend

I can’t lift a Harley Road Glide.  Of course not, you’re saying, because a bike of that size is about 750 lbs!  But I can’t even right it once it’s fallen over and I learned this the hard way.

I was trying to move Derek’s Harley out of the way of my Honda.  He was working and I wanted to go for a ride.  No problem!  I used the secret decoder gizmo to unlock it and began backing it up.  Unfortunately I forgot about the disc lock on the front brake and the bike started pitching to the left.  I held on for about 5 seconds before it went all the way over.  Damn.  Then gas started pooling under the bike. Damn again!  Before long there was a pool of gas equal to the size of the bike.

Last summer we watched a video in which a 90 pound woman picked up a huge Harley using the “proven technique”.  So I tried it three times and barely budged the beast.  Oh but I felt it in my back later on!  I couldn’t leave the bike there and I had to get rid of the gas.  God forbid there was any static in the air.  I had a friend who got caught in a flash fire once and it was horrific.

I called one brother-in-law.  No answer.  I called another.  He was working.  So I called a friend who just recently had knee-replacement surgery and he offered to pick up his son and come right over.

In the meantime I texted my brother who also warned me about the gas and the pool continued to grow.  So I pulled the garden hose out, grabbed a bottle of dish detergent and started rinsing, scrubbing and rinsing again.  Unfortunately the floor was good and soapy by the time Barry and Matt arrived!  But the three of us righted the bike and the two men moved it out of the way.  Amazingly, there was no damage.  The gas leak was just from an overflow reserve and nothing was broken, nicked or damaged.  “You’re golden!” said Barry, who moments later got the most grateful hug of his life!

“Well that’s enough of that”, I said.  “I think I’ll pass on taking a ride!”

“You’ll do no such thing”, said Barry.  “Go on your ride.  You’ve earned it!”

So I did take a ride and it was wonderful.  But first I scrubbed and rinsed the floor one more time and dropped the hose, jamming the nozzle and totally soaking myself.  After a complete change of clothing I was off.  Two lessons were learned here. One: always check for a disc lock.  Two: the bike-lift on video is b.s. in real life.  Oh and a third:  Nothing in this world can replace a good friend who recognizes a crisis!