Wardrobe Malfunction

What in the world is a person supposed to wear when a winter that never was skips spring altogether and becomes summer?  

Early spring is always a dodgy bit of wardrobe business.  But this year, more than most I can remember, we are confused about what we should be covering up with.  On my way home from the radio station yesterday morning I passed high school kids out on their morning break.  The girls were mostly dressed in short-shorts and T-shirts and the guys, in jeans and tees.  But downtown I saw a woman in a heavy, wool cable-knit dress, black tights and high boots.  Other females whose toes have been surprised by the record-breaking temps are revealing their little piggies before they’ve been prepped for public view.

So today’s high is expected to be around 26.  As I gathered my clothes to lay out for the 3:30 am start I considered wearing a skirt and sandals but rethought that plan after taking a close look at my lily-white legs. They’re so white, they’re blue.  They look like fish bellies.  Fortunately, Wednesdays are my kitty wrangling days at the Humane Society and leaving my legs unprotected would be just asking to become a scratching post.  Pants it is.

The long-range forecast is calling for overnight lows of zero and highs in the single-digits by early next week.  Toes will go back under cover and blue-white calves will once again retreat to their hiding places.  I’m predicting that little high school girls will be shivering in their shorts because once you’ve hauled those babies out of the back of the closet, they’re awfully hard to put away again.