Clapton, Beck, Gilmour – You Can All Relax!

I’m quitting the guitar. I have had exactly one lesson and I’m giving it up. It’s tooooo harrrrrrrd!

When I rewrote my bucket list earlier this year, one of the things I wanted to do was learn to play the guitar. Or at least make the attempt. Well it turns out that the guitar is possibly the least logical, most complicated instrument known to man. I’ve always respected anyone who had mastered it but now I’m pretty much in awe. I was a good student during that one lesson. I caught on to the E string and its many notes quickly but I realized as I practised and memorized that all I ever really wanted to do was play a recognizable tune or two. I’ve shared my frustration with a couple of guitar-playing pals and they tell me that I’m going about it the wrong way. I just need to learn a few basic chords and I’ll have most songs I want to play in the bag. In fact, I can’t find one player who took actual lessons, knows all of the notes and plays from a total understanding of the instrument. It’s more intuitive, apparently.

I think I’ll go back to the keyboard. I took piano lessons as a kid and I have a rudimentary understanding of that instrument. I’m sure I could be playing something familiar in no time.

Now, I have to tell my guitar teacher who is possibly one of the nicest and most talented players in this city. I’ll be giving him the ol’, it’s not you it’s me – and that’s the truth! He’s a really patient and kind instructor. But the thing never felt right in my hands anyway. It was as if I was holding someone else’s obese infant and trying in vain to make it comfortable. If the keyboard doesn’t feel right, I can just get a different chair, lean forward or lean back. Now, to make that phone call….