I love motivational quotes. When someone captures the essence of a feeling or a moment in a short phrase or sentence, it’s not only energizing, it’s made for Twitter’s 140-character limit. I believe I even coined one myself one day but I didn’t write it down. I remember the feeling, though, of nailing it, whatever it was. Maybe the feeling is enough.
However, something struck me when I saw this on Twitter late last week: “Be miserable. Or motivate yourself. Whatever has to be done, it’s always your choice. ~Wayne Dyer”
I would call that one true-ish. And that’s how I feel about many of the quotes I see about attitude. When I’m grieving and wanting to sit on the couch under a blanket and eat a container of Ben and Jerry’s Cookie Dough Ice Cream, which I did (Spread over two sittings. I’m not an animal!) there isn’t a motivational speech in the world that will convince me to do otherwise.
Real depression – genuine depressive feelings that go beyond a temporary mood – is also like that. Unless you’ve experienced it, it’s difficult to understand, but “choosing” an attitude isn’t possible. The positive ones aren’t available. It’s as if they’re locked in a safe and no one gave you the combination. A NASCAR track of depressed feelings is all you can access. And sometimes it feels like you’ll never see a checkered flag calling an end to the endless loops of misery.
Motivational quotes are not be-alls and end-alls. Like everything in this life, there are extremes – the black and white – and then countless shades of grey in between. I wouldn’t want anyone to beat themselves up emotionally, or judge someone else unfairly, because they didn’t live up to Wayne Dyer’s assertion that they have a choice in how they respond. Sometimes they don’t.