Friends are seated in a restaurant, looking over the menu.
SHE: When are we going to do something about this? Battered perch. So many restaurants do it and it’s about time we stood up for perch rights.
HE: Have you ever met a perch? They are total pr*cks. Spend five minutes with one and you’ll see why they’re battered so often.
SHE: Salmon too? Because they’re blackening them at this place.
HE: That’s what I don’t get. Salmon don’t have that reputation. Especially Atlantic salmon. They don’t even come from the same body of water. Perch? I can totally see it. But salmon seem so easy to get along with.
SHE: You never know where they might have met. Maybe the salmon are more like perch than we think. That’s how gangs are formed. Before you know it, you’ve got mild-mannered salmon, hanging out in front of the variety store, cigarettes tucked up in their T-shirt sleeves.
HE: It doesn’t make sense. But perch. Perch are real jerks. I’m in favour of battering perch.
SERVER APPROACHES THE TABLE
SHE: I think I’ll stick with chicken tonight. (To HE) Stupid perch!
HE: Stupid perch.