A thoughtful journalist friend recently posted to Facebook a viral YouTube video of a teen playing her guitar and singing. The girl is very attractive and the featured aspect of the video is her ample breasts that wiggle with every motion of her arm. My friend’s question was, is it exploitation if you do it to yourself?
A women’s studies professor pounced on my friend’s post, calling him sexist, patriarchal and down on women, to name a few accusations. This is ridiculous. If anything, he’s a feminist in the best sense of the word. But I’ve had this type of bullshit leveled at me, as well. I wrote a blog post for BlackburnNews.com titled “Domestic Incidents” that was about criticism over purchasing items not made in Canada. A woman whose particular interests involve stopping the abuse of women attacked me for misleading her with my headline. And she was dead serious. How dare I properly use the word domestic in a way that she didn’t expect? She kept coming back to fight with people who opposed her view despite admitting that my blog post “bored” her.
I wish it was common knowledge that everyone perceives the world through their own personal filter, but alas, it’s not. If you “take” something benign as an insult, that’s not the speaker’s fault, it’s yours. If you are offended because the word “domestic” is used in a way that you routinely don’t use it, but is still correct, that’s your problem. If in 140 characters of typing someone mentions something that’s true but you want to assume they are making a large, sweeping statement about everyone on the planet, that’s your prerogative. At Blackburn News, comments are now closed – not because of the Domestic Incidents incident but because any post about the provincial election has turned into a personal war on others who don’t share the same view. It’s so out of control, that those whose hate and expletive-filled comments weren’t getting approved, have turned their anger toward us at Blackburn. The powers that be decided that the best way to keep turds out of the sandbox was to stop everyone from playing in it.
I’ve spent a lot of my time over my career, as has my friend, making sure I don’t offend anyone. Finally, I think we have both realized that it’s not our problem, it’s theirs. The most I now pledge to do is to stay within the admittedly loose boundaries of good taste and not deliberately try to hurt anyone’s feelings or insult them. For the rest, I give you the brilliant actor Stephen Fry.
AMEN! As you and I also often say, in the words of Ricky Gervais, just because you’re offended, doesn’t mean you’re right. Thank you, Lisa. We can’t be responsible for what they hear (read), only what we say (write).