Sibling Rivalry

This Throwback Thursday was originally posted on October 29, 2013.

The email subject line read “Damn you!”

It was from my slightly younger brother and meant in jest, I think!  He was sending me a story about a review of several studies that claims first-born siblings are smarter than the others who arrive later.

Kevin and I are 20 months apart.  That’s not really a big gap. But small gap or large gap this study, reported by CNN, says that the very reasons first-borns complain is the reason they’re smarter: parents are a lot stricter with baby number one.

I remember my jaw dropping at some of the privileges Kevin was given that were unthinkable when I was his age.  For my husband, it was far worse. Five siblings followed him and by the time number six was growing up he felt she was pretty much being raised by wolves! She had freedom and autonomy he didn’t get until he was a lot older.

So it makes sense that first-time parents are more vigilant and likely more anxious about details. Everything is a first.  So when number two (and perhaps others) arrive, parents tend to be less panicked about the fevers and the scrapes and the dropped pacifiers. One study studied for this study concluded that first-borns get more smarts because they have their parents’ undivided attention until a sibling comes along.  That’s an exclusive right of a first-born.

I read a book about birth order a long time ago and recognized myself as a typical first-born: conscientious almost to a fault, ambitious, responsible, and sometimes a little bossy. But smarter than my brother? Kevin is actually very smart but in different ways than I am. I doubt I have a higher IQ than he does.  He knows more about the natural world, about anything mechanical and he can reason out a problem better than I can. I really don’t think this research holds true in our case. I think we have different strengths.  But smarter? I don’t think so.  Just don’t tell him I said so.