January 2011

The Kind of Hospital I’m in

/ General

8 days into my stay and I just felt confident
and able to go to the third floor cafeteria
on my own. I had heard rumours about Jello
and when a tiny, toothless cafeteria worker
noticed me looking longingly through the
puddings she asked what I wanted. I told
her.

“what kind do you like, hon?”

“red is my favourite but I’ll take anything.”

“wait here” she said and in a couple of
minutes she was back bearing a fresh and
beautiful jello cup with a little dollop
of whipped cream on top. Her name is
Elise. She’s just one of the awesome people
who work here at university hospital.

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A Slice of a Day in the Life

/ 1 Comment / General

A young cleaning woman mopped around me as a read yesterday.

“Has anyone ever told you that you look like Jessica Biel?”, thinking she must hear it all the time.

“No way” she said clearly pleased. “really?”

“I think you’d win a photo contest!”

“right on!” she said. “thanks!”

“hey I just call it as I see it. For me, right now after 7 days in hospital and one shower. I look like ‘woman last seen headed west on I-190 in dodge pickup with stolen baby.”

“oh?” said the cleaner. “who’s she?”

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What the Hell is Wrong with People?

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I have to tell you about this older man and woman who come to visit someone in a nearby room.

So here I am, in my supermodel best hospital edition robe, clutched at the back, looking like I’ve ridden to hell and back on an uncooperative camel and these folks stare at me.

They don’t look up and go, oh, there’s a patient, let’s avert our eyes and afford her the shred of dignity that she has left. Nope. They stare. Four beady little eyes watch me shuffle to the can and then shuffle back. 

What the hell is that about?  I want to shuffle straight up to them and just say, Really? 

On the other hand this just proves I’m getting a little bit of my spunk back!

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Communication Breakdown

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If I’ve communicated with you personally consider it the tiniest of miracles. I’m quite sure I’ve sent emails only in my head and really sent others that I can’t remember. Such is life  in the whirlwind of medications and testing.

This hospital apparently sees cases similar to mine about twice a week but they’re usually easily explained. Someone’s a long term IV drug user or they’ve just been somewhere exotic and had bad water. Cases like mine bug them because without a source there’s a potential for a recurrence.

Interesting side note about hospital food – this hospital’s food anyway. I have hardly eaten any of it. it’s totally disgusting and luckily Derek has been coming up bearing the dinners of my choice. But I was puzzled last night when I found my favourite pizza unpalatable. Finally a nurse, noticing my nearly bare lunch tray, asked if I was on a certain drug. Turns out I am. turns out it makes your taste buds turn on their heads and everything taste like crap!! Nobody’s perfect but a heads up would have been nice!

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